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Submitted on
December 13, 2012
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She whispered softly in his ear,
So no one else could hear..

"Sometimes you see right through me,
Like I am made of glass,
You see my rusted soul,
And my heart made of brass.

Can you see the wires,
Underneath my skin?
And can you see the nuts and bolts,
That holds everything in?

I'm slowly falling apart,
And there's nothing you can do,
I'm not a toy that can be mended,
With needles, thread or glue.

Don't try and fix me,
This is how it's always been,
You my boy are human,
And I am a machine."

By Liezyl Steyn
Well this is just a little poem to go with my new OC, which should hopefully be finished by Sunday at the latest! :D

Hope you enjoy it :heart:
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:iconmagniwald:
Magniwald Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like the rhythm, the rhyming and the general concept, but I feel that the subject-matter is not really delved into at all: there is a boy and a machine and some sort of love between them, but in saying that, actually that's quite beautiful. The purity of it, a no questions asked type-thing. Hey, you know what this reminds me of? The undying love that Cortana has for John-117 in the Halo franchise. Holy shit, it's got a really similar message to the ending of Halo 4 too. I love this poem!
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:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh wow! Thank you for such an in depth comment, I really appreciate your insight :D

Wow I love Halo! It's a huge compliment for my poem to be compared to the love of Cortana x John-117! :heart:

Thank you for making my day :iconplzhug:
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:iconmagniwald:
Magniwald Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aha, well your poem inspired my in depth comment, so thank you!

But you can see what I mean right? Like, the whole message of Halo 4's ending is that despite John being the human, it is he who is more of a machine than the emotional and loving Cortana, here a similar thing is happening in that the robot-girl is singing/speaking to her human-boy about how she feels, despite the fact that she is the machine.

Love it!
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:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I totally do see what you mean!!! *swoon* I am so happy ^///^
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:iconiluvaf:
iluvaf Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
That's really good. You should do more poetry.
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:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much :heart:
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:iconnekootakugirl:
nekootakugirl Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I love this! you managed to make it rhyme without it sounding weird, it's very lovely. :3
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:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hehe thanks :D
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:iconchowaa:
Chowaa Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Whoa, such beautiful lyrics ^^ You're very talented!
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:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Awwwww thanks so much ^-^
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