Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
February 18, 2014
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
433
Favourites
6 (who?)
Comments
42
×

When Things Get Tough

Journal Entry: Tue Feb 18, 2014, 5:24 PM

Normally when things get full on in my life, I'm able to keep drawing to help me cope, but lately I just haven't had the drive to draw anything at all...WHICH IS HIDEOUSLY BAD because I have commissions to do.

So in all honesty, I don't think I've worked on anything for a good 1 1/2 weeks, so I promise to try and start again tomorrow <3

 

I feel like my problems with work just never end, and it makes me SO unhappy because I spend like...90% of my life at work .__. In any case, a document went missing in the office and my boss pretty much blamed me in very few words and then proceeded to tell me that I'm the least organized person in the office. =_= And I was like holy monkey balls have you SEEN your office?!

In any case, I've been applying for jobs at an extreme rate, because I just want to get the hell out! XD There's been a few good jobs that I've applied for, so I just have to wait and see now.

I got a call in regards to a job I applied for the other night, and the guy asked me a few questions, so hopefully he'll call me back for an interview!

I just want things to work out, I don't want to feel like I'm trapped here forever #_#

 

On top of that I've been dealing with personal feelings towards the whole "I'm Real, Are You?" event. I started it with a good heart and good intentions, but still I've had people telling me that I'm a bad person etc because I'm encouraging people to show their faces. :/ Well I know that I didn't force anyone to do anything, you guys all took part because it was something that you felt strongly towards. I'm also getting really sick of people who are so full of it that they say stuff like "Why would you kill yourself over someone you've never met?? I can't feel sorry for people who are dumb enough to do that." Like seriously? I WOULD LOVE to see how BIG those people will act when something like that happens to them >_< How dare they even say that? Has no one heard of the saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". There is no reason for people to say crap like that, none at all -___- Just makes me so mad!

And then, I'm having fake people shoved in my face ALL THE TIME! It's like ever since I started my event, they just seem to be popping up everywhere! Like seriously what the hell? What is WRONG with people? Do they think they can get away with being a fake and STEALING photos? Not a chance like honestly. =__= I will take the liberty of telling everyone that they are fake because that's what we should do, and encourage people to be themselves, because let's face it, you'll never be happier than when you are yourself. There's a sense of freedom that comes with letting go and being your trueself, so we should be helping people to feel the same way.

If you're fake and don't want to learn a lesson, then do us all a favour and crawl back into that hole you came from because things will only get a lot worse for you if you carry on down this path -____- That is all I have to say.

 

Also, I have noticed that a lot of you guys seem to be unhappy, which makes me sad too so please if you ever want to chat, I'm always around on Skype. Just note me if you want to add me <3

 

SO I AM TRYING REALLY HARD to get back into my happy-mojo-routine, just give me time. I have the Soundwave festival on Saturday, so I'm really excited! I've started planning my outfit and my hair and everything :) Would you guys want to see photos? I'm pretty much treating it as a chance to "cosplay", so I'm really gonna go all out :3

And um yeah, that's like it! Keep being the amazing people you are :tighthug:



  • Mood: Tired
  • Drinking: Water
Skin by HanyouInny (modified by VonDiezyl)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconbowser81889:
Bowser81889 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I certainly do hope that you feel better soon.
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Thanks I hope so too. I'm sorry I haven't worked on your drawing .__.

Did you see the update where I had changed the hair? You never said if you liked it or not

Reply
:iconbowser81889:
Bowser81889 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, my bad, I could have sworn I had. :O Sorry about that.

Yeah, I like it! It looks much better. Been checking on it on and off so I had assumed you were taking a break from it to focus on other things.
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hah that's okay :)

Well I'm glad you like it this time X3 I'm really trying hard to work on it but I literally cannot even force a doodle out of myself .___. I just want to draw but I can't for some reason.
Reply
:iconbowser81889:
Bowser81889 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, I noticed your journal from late February saying you were taking a few weeks to a month off or so to do other things and see if you were able to get back into the groove again. Like Gerry that old artist guy from Toy Story 2 said..."You can't rush art!"

So no worries, take your time and unwind to the best of your ability. In the meantime, I'm already getting a few ideas about a next possible commission. :)
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for being so understanding ♡ I feel like crap for not getting anything done :/ i will try a little harder though I promise :)

Oh really? Awesome I'd love to hear your ideas
Reply
:iconbowser81889:
Bowser81889 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
We all have times like that. I barely uploaded anything substantial last year myself aside from random doodles and photo manipulations when I typically do art projects a lot more in-depth than that.

Great to hear though, and the effort is most certainly appreciated there. :)

Yeah, sure! I could note you maybe.
Reply
:iconesemenace:
EseMenace Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

pinche mentiroso.

Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I have no idea what that means XD
Reply
:iconesemenace:
EseMenace Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

oh it just something forwards the h8ers xD

en espaņola y con en lingo...

Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:) Okay then ^^
Reply
:iconnyanferb:
NyanFerb Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Gosh, that's tough. :\ I'm so sorry about all this, and I wish you the best of luck on finding a job. ^-^

And it'd be really cool to see some cosplay photos. :3
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Thanks ~ <3

I'll try and upload some when I get time

Reply
:iconnyanferb:
NyanFerb Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're very welcome! ^^
Reply
:iconfalloutwoman:
FallOutWoman Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Student General Artist
Yeah I know how you feel. In January I started a graphic novel production course which will be over in March and in the last two weeks I have just been way too tired to work on it and not only that every little thing has just been pissing me off where usually I'm waaay to tough to let depression get hold of me. And it's the stupidest of all things that are making me sad. For example is it stupid that I am sad that I have so closely identified with an Anime character who is the personification of a country where homosexuality is so illegal that people are put in jail and killed over anything gay. And am I stupid that I'm as mad as hell at the fandom because in cannon it is never established whether  the character is gay or not but the fandom has made this character into such a yaoi staple that people who live in that country are being put in jail just for being a fan of that character.

 I think that the "Are You Real" Project is an awesome idea. It promotes trust in the community which will stop a lot of the butthurt that has been going on waaay too often here. BTW Stealing some one else's pictures off of Facebook is identity theft which is very illegal even more so than art theft.
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

I'm sorry to hear that <3 And yeah I'm actually exactly the same right now, except I'm kind of passed the point of crying and now I'm just numb. Which is also strange for me because I normally bounce back fairly quickly .__.

 

Thanks, and yeah I know, I've tried reporting people but so far DA don't seem to do anything about it >_<

Reply
:iconfalloutwoman:
FallOutWoman Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Awwww, I hope you do feel better soon :hug:.

Yeah thats D.A. for you. Two years ago one of my loser ex-boyfriends who had resorted to stalking me online and about 70 sock puppet accounts spammed my account with bomb threats. I reported it but D.A. did nothing. Actually I was quite shocked because any other business on this planet would have taken it quite seriously but leave it to D.A. to take something like this casually. I finally got rid of him because I had a lawyer.
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks I'm slowly starting to feel better ♡♡

That's really crazy o_o it makes me angry that DA wouldn't really do anything about it :/
Reply
:iconskurrly:
SKuRRly Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Student Artist
Jobs can be tough. D: But I know how you feel with the lack of motivation and all. Take all the time you need. :heart:
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks ~ I just wish it didn't happen now when I have like so many commissions to do :/
Reply
:iconskurrly:
SKuRRly Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Student Artist
Your wellbeing and letting life get better is more important than commissions. Take your time and do what needs to be done first!! :)
Reply
:iconsecret-ninja-super-m:
SECRET-NINJA-SUPER-M Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014   General Artist
*sympathetic pats*  

Ooh~ Photos sound interesting! :hug: Have fun.
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks <3 I'll try and upload some photos when I get time and find the motivation to
Reply
:icononiricskull:
OniricSkull Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
What kind of psychopath don't believe you can get to develop strong feelings for someone who you've never meet?

I think the person who told you that has a total lack of empathy.

Anyways nobody can really force other person to show their real face, that's a personal decision. Everything is on the internet nowadays anyways XD. I mean if you have a Facebook account chances are people can find your face, unless of course you have fake profiles with other people pics.

Keep it up, you will find a better job soon. Good luck and good vibes!
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Obviously people who think that they are above everyone else because they haven't made a mistake like that..yet.

And I agree, the sad part is it's more than one person that's said it :/

Yeah exactly right, I totally agree with you <3

Reply
:iconkosmik90:
Kosmik90 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow, people are so mean in general. :/ I think your event has a great concept and no-one is forced to take part to it so why would anyone complain about it? And I just want to say that you can always ignore the people that are rude to you. You're better than them. I'm so happy to see how kind and honest you are and how you care about people here. :) You're awesome, just never change. :hug:
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Thanks, that really means a lot to me <3

And yeah, I know what you mean.

Reply
:iconstormshadow86:
StormShadow86 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
Keep going strong. What your doing with im real are you, was- and is an amazing, thoughtfull and caring idea . I admir your warm heart.  And that tells me that you are not the type of person to give up without a fight, so keep on smiling and remember that i got your back in spirit and in prayer.   Hug 
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks so much, and you're right, normally I wouldn't go down without a fight, but sometimes one needs drive to keep going and I don't have much of that at the moment :/
Reply
:iconfish--samurai:
Fish--Samurai Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014   General Artist
I dont get how some people just sit there and steal nonstop. And its also not like they are stealing say food becuase they have no home or money. They are stealing artwork that people have poured their sweat blood tears an souls into. Alot of artwork can hold alot of memories about a person and the things they went through during the time it was made and some people dont take that into recognition and are complete lowlife scum.

(Sorry my typings bad im on a phone atm ^^;
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's okay I understand what you mean, and I totally agree with you ~
Reply
:iconfranny-lynn123:
franny-lynn123 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I cant believe you're getting so much hate for something we all chose to do ourselves its crazy.
It always sucks when you lose your drive for doing what you love doesn't it, but it will pass and you'll get back in the zone.
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah I hope I can find my motivation again soon..
Reply
:iconfranny-lynn123:
franny-lynn123 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm sure you will, i find it easier when i am alone i listen to music and try to clear my mind of all my stress
Reply
:iconyorukochikokoro:
YorukoChikokoro Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I definitely know what it's like to be unhappy. The best thing to do is try to avoid those situations. I know it's because of your job but are you actively looking for a different job? It isn't good to have a job that you just hate. 

Luckily since I haven't went home at all since the school semester started I've been a lot happier. Though lately I'm failing 2 classes and I'm starting to get depressed again over the fact that I can't do something as simple as keep my grades up :'(
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Thanks <3 It's a lot to deal with you know? I had an anxiety attack like just this morning, and I've never suffered from anxiety..

I am applying for every job under the sun that shows up in my field of work so I'm trying <3

:( I'm really sorry :hug: I'm here if you wanna talk

Reply
:iconyorukochikokoro:
YorukoChikokoro Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I also really need to be looking for a job so failing two class and my mom pestering me about getting a job is not good :(. Nobody wants to freaking hire a person with a hearing disability. 
Reply
:iconfalseequilibrium:
FalseEquilibrium Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
hey bro, i know work must be tough, but i really hope you get a good new job!
also with the "I'm Real, Are You" I would have to agree with your opinion, the fact that people are bashing on something that could make DA a safer place really doesn't make sense to me ((i respect others opinions, but seriously))
and lastly, I really hope that you feel happier soon and good luck with the festival!!

k byeJake Icon *Free to Use 
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconjapookins:
japookins Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014
stay strong,
whenever u try to do something big...there will always be people that will oppose
i know that doesnt make it easier
but you are a good person
you do inspiring work
Reply
:iconvondiezyl:
VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks so much <3
Reply
:iconjapookins:
japookins Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014
do what you can to get through
know that your friends have your back
Reply
Add a Comment: